Becoming a Man (BAM) is a program under the auspices of Youth Guidance (https://www.youth-guidance.org/youth-guidance-los-angeles), based out of Chicago. I was given the honor of visiting their summer session 2024 and I’d like to describe my experiences briefly.
The Location
Los Angeles Trade Tech College (LATTC) graciously hosted the summer program this year, which is a fantastic institute of higher learning for young people in LA who are seeking a trade. They have a vast catalog of degree programs and also provide an abundance of resources for low-income students. I had been to the LATTC Metro stop before but this was the first time that I had been on the campus.
The Leadership
Marsha Miles and Casswell Goodman are the heart and soul of BAM LA. They have each worked with youth for many, many years, and part of the success of BAM is the fact that their experience and leadership allow them to find resources that actually make differences in young men’s lives. Cass and Marsha both have an encyclopedic knowledge of the youth program landscape in LA; they also have the compassion and leadership to fight for their boys.
[An aside: I tend to use ‘boys” and “young men” interchangeably here – this is not intended as disrespect to any of them. The age range of the summer participants were from middle school to high school and a few beyond high school].
I finally got to meet the man himself, Cass, or Mr. BAM. He is exceptional. He has the grace of a kind and compassionate leader, with a listening ear and an unshakable resolve to make life better for his community. We met face-to-face to one side of the room as the BAM participants (young men and the counselors) filed in.
The counselors introduced themselves to me, and they are also extraordinary. I wish I could remember all of their names, but I remember Josh, George, Eric, and Cameron. They have an interesting rapport with the young men – they are open, like big brothers, but also authority figures. I’m guessing that the participants are constantly being told what to do and how to behave. It wasn’t quite like that in BAM. The counselors and leaders show deference and respect for their fellow leaders, and it seemed like, by osmosis, the young men also showed the same deference to the leaders and each other.
The Activities
Everyone came in at the same time, which was a great show of unity. Everyone assembled a (large) circle of chairs. The “energizer activity” was a single-elimination Rock Paper Scissors tournament. The rules were that, if you won, you sought out another (winning) player. If you lost, you were to cheer for the guy who beat you. It was a bit of disarray but the point wasn’t keeping order. The point was to mingle and do something that many boys like to do: compete.
Josh described the basis for the circle; the circle is an important symbol in BAM. There is no hierarchy, no head of the class. We assembled the chairs into a circle that took up the entire room. They passed out journals and the young men were tasked to write out their thoughts on two events the previous week. It was a limited amount of time, maybe 5-10 minutes. Ones that were willing to share, shared their paragraphs.
The Approach
I believe that the difficult discussions that happen in the circle are part of the effectiveness of BAM. In my unprofessional point of view, they set up a quasi-group-therapy situation, where safety and confidentiality are paramount. It’s a safe space. Unlike typical group therapy, the counselors participate.
Communication was the overall theme of the summer session, and implicit in that is healthy communication. Like I said earlier, my guess is that these boys have a constant drumbeat of “Do this” “Don’t do that” all their lives. The boys aren’t supposed to backtalk, and maybe their households are filled with chaos and patterns of negative communication. Or maybe they get shouted down all the time.
The Stories
Whatever the case, the counselors began the sharing circle with painting a scenario: “have you ever been in a situation where you felt out of place?” There were rules for participating, and those rules kept the order and decorum. It was a solemn experience, heavy with respect. Very few side conversations. Active listening. It is not my role to betray the confidence of the young men and counselors who shared, and so I won’t recount any of their stories. But they were illustrative and instructive. Some had positive resolutions, others were difficult situations with no good outcome.
I personally think that stories and language are among the things that made humans the dominant species. Stories are portable memories of behavior, of history, of teaching, of solutions. In German, the noun for “story” and “history” are the same (Die Geschichte). This is the power of the young men exchanging stories. Sometimes a story may resonate.
There was about an hour of sharing of stories. The BAM Staff and the young men honored me with an award (in the shape of a circle). I accepted the award on behalf of Mercy Lab, and it was a team effort. Honestly, the donation was the easy part – the BAM team did the hard work with organization, logistics, and coordination.
The president of LATTC, Dr. Alfred McQuarters, very graciously attended the session when I attended. He spoke about his background and how he became a scholar with multiple advanced degrees. He was an inspiring speaker and I believe could relate to the young men on a level that I definitely could not.
A Summary
These are caring people who are trying to address a difficult but important problem in our community. It was an honor and a privilege to meet these young men and their inspiring counselors. We hope that the summer program may be expanded year over year to touch many more lives.
And special thank you to Cass and Marsha.